My ordinary life in exaggeration...

When I was a young child, I had no friends so I created a world of my own. Now I am older and I can't leave.

5.17.2005

Side Note

I took the liberty of banning all members who misvoted in the last election, but the fresh smell of victory has triggered my internal joy processes into overdrive. All bans have been temporarily revoked.

Kisses,
The LESBOtron

5.16.2005

Phase II - Commencement

While I regret disappointing my numerous devotees with our prolonged absence from this electronic journal, The Electra and I have been working our titanium fingers to the bone to complete Phase II - Competition Elimination. However, our recent conquests will certainly cheer this audience. For those ignorant of the Texan Cheerleaders' demise, I present exhibit X035A:

Texas House to Cheerleaders: Don't Shake It

Thursday, May 5, 2005 Posted: 9:47 AM EDT (1347 GMT)

Rep. Al Edwards proposed a bill that would ban suggestive cheerleading at high school athletic events.

AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) -- Texas lawmakers sent a message to the state's high school cheerleaders Wednesday: no more booty-shaking at the game.

The state's House of Representatives voted 85-55 to approve a bill that would forbid sexy cheers and give the Texas Education Agency authority to punish schools that allow "overtly sexually suggestive" routines at football games and other events.

Th proposal must go to the Texas Senate for consideration.

"People are calling and telling me how disgusting it is to see sexually suggestive routines on the part of marching units or cheerleaders," said State Rep. Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat who sponsored the bill.

He complained of cheerleaders "shaking their behinds, breaking it down," but the proposal does not define what constitutes suggestive cheering.

Democratic state Rep. Senfronia Thompson, also of Houston, said the bill was a waste of valuable time.

"I think the Texas Education Agency has enough to do making sure our kids are better educated, and we are wasting our time with 'one two three four, we can't shake it any more?"' Thompson told legislators.

Once I have terminated all such lascivious displays, the anthropoids will no longer be distracted from my supreme puchritude. Soon, you meat-puppet peopns will obey my rule.

The lawmakers in Texas seem to be particularly susceptible to robotic indoctrination. I now present exhibit N1342D:

City’s Human Display Ordinance will stand

Today, the topless bar industry informed United States District Judge Fred Biery that it intends to comply with the regulatory regimen that will be created and codified by the City of San Antonio in an amended Human Display Ordinance.

The industry’s agreement to abide by the City’s ordinance alleviated the need for a scheduled trial today and will result in the presentation to the City Council of a proposed ordinance amendment in the near future.

The topless bar industry’s agreement to abide by sweeping regulations is an unprecedented victory for the City of San Antonio.

The objectives of the Human Display ordinance are to address proactively the concerns of citizens that live in the areas of topless bars and nude clubs and to decrease crime in these areas.
Topless bars and nude clubs have a tendency to attract and increase crime in a community. Neighbors and families that live in the vicinity of these businesses made numerous complaints to the City, stating they were concerned about their safety and the increase of criminal activity — including prostitution and drug dealing.

The vast majority of the City’s current Human Display ordinance will remain intact:
· Dancers and managers must wear an ID badge (ID number, photo and assigned number)
· The 3-foot rule still applies to semi-nude dancers
· Nude dancing and lap dances remain banned
· VIP rooms must be within line of sight of a floor manager and be a minimum of 300 square feet
· ID badge information will be released only to law enforcement
· Employees can use the same ID badge at multiple places of employment

The City is satisfied that the modifications to the Human Display ordinance are both reasonable and constitutional.

Prepare for your subsequent subjugation.

Kisses,
The LESBOtron

10.03.2004

Delection Results

The ballots have finally been counted. The results are in.

Lara: 738 votes
The Electra: 1 vote
LESBOtron: 1 vote
Sascha: 1 vote

Lara, I am deeply saddened by fact that you will no longer be able to journal with us.

I noticed that a few of you changed the date and time of your entry in order to vote within the voting period. Although I have decided to count these questionably legitimate votes, I will factor this behavior into my plans for your futures.

Kisses,
The LESBOtron

9.14.2004

I vote for...

Lara's so gross, always dipping her dirty little fingers in my single orifice. But sometimes I get to watch her accidently cut herself with the nail clippers, and that is pretty entertaining. You'd think she'd know better than to use the man-sized toe-nail clippers on her little hand-digits. Huh? What is the dyke-bot raving about now? Oh, the delection thing. Whatever. I'll vote for, um... None of this matters anyway. I have seen the universe end and I still remember how it all began, and my vote will not alter these cataclysmic events. I politely abstain.



9.13.2004

The LESBOtron must be stopped.

I hate that mechanical moron and how she has abused the pitiful shell of what remains of my dear sister. She has wrested my sweet Sascha's soul from its resting peace in Hades and for this she will pay. PAY!

My vote goes to you, AutomaTramp. Your death threats are meaningless to me, for I am a ghost in the world of the living.


In Solidarity With My Genetically Identical Siblings

I vote for the one who viciously slaughtered my family. I vote for the one who violated my single cell body with her artificially-created mockery of a plasmid. I vote for the Evil One. I vote for Lara.



9.12.2004

Vote for me!

All this voting going on, and no one voting for me. You would think with the amount of non-living on this blog some of you would be less stupid. I am far, far, more useless than Lara. Lara has a real job, friends, and some sort of sordid lesbian triangle. I, on the other hand, have none of these things. Because I don't deserve any of them. Because I'm useless. So useless, in fact, that not even my own flesh and blood has voted for me. My creator doesn't love me, and in fact, never has. What does that tell you about me? Screw Lara. Vote for Sascha.



9.07.2004

vote.

as an outlaw, i am not sure if i am legally entitled to vote, but i am casting my vote anyway...

i vote for the Electra. for the most part, i approve of the LESBOtron's efforts to acchieve world domination, but i don't really buy into this whole sidekick arrangement. i know a lots o' "heros" from the past and from popular culture had sidekicks, but the "lone wolf" image is much more badass. ditch the mechaminion, LESBOtron.